AMERICA’S DOUCHEBAG
On April 1, the New York Times reported that Dan Bongino, former far-right podcaster and now FBI Deputy Director, issued an email reassuring that he would put “aside any personal politics” and would not act as a “partisan political figure.”
That’s what I did as a special agent with the U.S. Secret Service, where I proudly protected both Democratic and Republican presidents, and it’s what I did as an officer with the N.Y.P.D., where I served and protected all the people of New York City equally.
Dan Bongino worked as a police officer for the NYPD from 1995 to 1999. In 1999, Bongino joined the United States Secret Service and in 2002 he left the New York Field Office to become an instructor at the Secret Service Training Academy. From there, Bongino was assigned to presidential detail for George W. Bush’s second term. He remained on protective duty during Barrack Obama’s term before leaving in 2011 to run for the U.S. Senate.
Former Secret Service colleagues criticized Bongino for leveraging his agency background during his political campaign and for claiming to possess secret information from conversations he allegedly overheard in the Obama White House. One former colleague accused him of leveraging his closeness to President Obama for political gain, stating, “He’s trying to attract attention and co-opt the Secret Service brand—it’s his only asset.” Bongino countered by claiming he was privy to “high-level discussions” within the White House.
Dan Bongino experienced significant defeats in his attempts to enter Maryland politics. He garnered only 26.3% of the vote in the 2012 Senate race, marking a substantial loss. Subsequently, in 2014, Bongino ran in Maryland’s 6th Congressional District for the U.S. House of Representatives, performing notably better but falling short with 48.2% of the vote.
In 2015, Bongino moved from the affluent community of Severna Park, Maryland, seeking better electoral prospects elsewhere. Despite relocating, his political ambitions continued to falter. In the 2016 primary election for the U.S. House, Bongino secured only 17.4% of Republican support, resulting in another unsuccessful campaign.
These repeated political setbacks may have influenced Bongino’s transition into the media. He embarked on a career characterized by far-right podcast commentary, often promoting conspiracy theories and controversial rhetoric. Unable to secure elected office, Bongino shifted his efforts toward establishing himself in the media landscape, which could explain his incessant saltiness toward the political infrastructure.
Dan Bongino’s media career evolved over time, resulting from his political ambitions. He published his first book in 2013 and remained active in right-wing media throughout his unavailing political campaigns. His most prominent breakthrough came in March 2021 when Cumulus Media selected him to fill the void left by The Rush Limbaugh Show on its talk radio stations.
Since then, Bongino has continued to promote far-right narratives, including conspiracy theories, inflammatory rhetoric, and partisan misinformation. His outspoken support for the MAGA movement and hostility toward progressive viewpoints have favored him within Trump-aligned circles. Known for his confrontational online presence and incendiary commentary, Bongino’s influence within conservative media has elevated his profile—leading to speculation about his potential appointment as FBI Deputy Director.
Current and former FBI agents expressed significant concern and dismay regarding Dan Bongino’s nomination as Deputy Director. The distress arises primarily because neither Bongino nor FBI Director Kash Patel has prior FBI experience. Previously, the FBI Agents Association had assured the workforce that Patel pledged to appoint an experienced agent as his deputy.
Christopher O’Leary, a former senior FBI official who retired in 2023, remarked, “This is beyond problematic… Any hope that Kash could be steered by having experienced leaders around him is out the window. We now have two conspiracy theorists and election deniers running our premier law enforcement and intelligence agency.”
Several current FBI personnel, speaking anonymously due to restrictions on communicating with the media, expressed even harsher criticisms. They voiced fears that Bongino’s appointment effectively ended FBI independence, placing the bureau’s potent investigative and intelligence powers into the control of politically motivated individuals with extremist agendas. One official compared Bongino’s selection to appointing known conspiracy figures like Alex Jones or Stuart Rhodes of the Oath Keepers.
A retired FBI agent questioned the implications of Bongino's background, stating, “Will the deputy director get a security clearance? FBI background checks? Does it matter that he supported the Oath Keepers? I doubt it because the director supported Jan. 6th.”
As of April 8, the FBI has issued an unusual request for agents to serve as bodyguards for Deputy Director Dan Bongino. Traditionally, the bureau’s second-in-command does not receive a protective detail, making this a notable departure from standard practice. Agents were asked to volunteer for a 30-day temporary duty assignment, requiring them to relocate and provide round-the-clock security for Bongino. For a man whose existence is built on ‘FAFO’ (Fuck Around and Find Out), it is not surprising he would need to have protection for his fragile masculinity.
During his brief time as FBI Deputy Director, Bongino has made it well known that he plans on investigating what he, the entire Trump administration, and MAGA constituents consider the ‘Russia Hoax.’ His commentary of remaining nonpartisan quickly became partisan as he has let his views get in between his work as an enforcer of the law and his loyalty to Donald Trump. This man wakes up every morning and posts on X and Truth Social to ensure everyone knows what day it is and that Donald Trump is still the president of the United States. His partisanship has remained as intact as Pete Hegseth’s drinking habits. The irony of a wannabe tough guy and ‘patriot’ having the initials of DB makes it easy to depict him for what he is: America’s Douchebag.
